Why Your Relationships Shape Your Creative Visibility: The Power of a Relationship Audit
As a therapist and content creator, I’m obsessed with visibility—but not the kind that’s driven by pressure or perfectionism. I’m talking about sustainable visibility: the ability to show up authentically, consistently, and with the energy required to create meaningful work. And here’s the part I avoided for a long time:
Visibility isn’t just a strategy problem. It’s a relationship problem.
You can have thousands of hours of B-roll, every content strategy saved on your phone, and a calendar full of good intentions… yet still feel drained before you hit “record.” When your creative energy feels blocked, it’s worth asking:
Is this about my work ethic? Or is this about the people I’m surrounded by?
For me, that question changed everything. In simple terms, a relationship audit is an evaluation of the give and take that exists in all of your relationships- family, friends, colleagues; you should be able to easily identify the value each of the relationships have in your life. Ambiguity only takes away from your creative energy.
The Moment the Relationship Audit Made Sense
I first stumbled on the idea of a Relationship Audit in Aliza Kelly’s This Is Your Destiny. At first, I skimmed right past it—“audit” sounded clinical, tedious, and honestly, a little uncomfortable. Why would I hold a magnifying glass to my connections?But as I got more serious about my professional goals, it clicked: My network was shaping the ceiling of my growth. If I surrounded myself with people who were ruled by limiting beliefs, it made sense that my own decisions would start shrinking to match theirs. The more I paid attention, the more I saw how deeply relationships influence creative capacity. Here’s how I break it down now.
1. Your Creativity Is a Sourdough Starter
Your creativity—your visibility, your vision, your presence online—is like a sourdough starter. It’s alive. It’s sensitive. It requires quality ingredients and consistent care.
When you’re creating with:
people who dim your energy,
people who can’t meet your vision,
people who require constant emotional labor without reciprocity…
…it’s like adding expired flour to your starter. The end result can’t rise.
Every relationship contributes something to your creative field. The question is whether it’s nourishing you or quietly draining the spark you rely on to create.
2. What a Relationship Audit Really Looks Like
A Relationship Audit isn’t harsh. It’s not about cutting people off. It’s about accurately observing the level of access, energy, and influence you allow in your world.
Here are the questions I return to over and over:
Is there true reciprocity?
Do I leave this person feeling energized or depleted?
Do they encourage me to think beyond my limiting beliefs?
Can they hold space for my bigger visions?
(And if not, do I need to adjust what I share?)
You don’t have to push anyone out of your life. But you may need to shift the distance between you and the people who aren’t capable of supporting your growth.
Your energy is a finite resource. Spend it where it expands.
3. Four Quarters vs. A Hundred Pennies
As someone who has navigated abandonment wounds and a deep desire for belonging, I used to think more relationships equaled more safety. But here’s what I know now:
I would always rather have four quarters than a hundred pennies.
A hundred pennies:
are hard to keep track of
take up space
feel heavy with very little substance
Those are the low-depth, high-frequency relationships that scatter your attention and dilute your energy.
Four quarters:
are substantial
are easier to hold
carry obvious value
These are the relationships built on mutual trust, respect, and emotional safety—the ones you can rely on as you stretch into bigger visions.
When you invest in these “quarter relationships,” supporting each other stops feeling like an inconvenience. It becomes an intentional, reciprocal exchange.
4. Protecting Your Creative Energy: The 70/30 Rule
One of my favorite creators, Grace McCarrick, talks about the 70/30 rule:
70% of your conversations should be energizing, growth-oriented, and expansive.
30% can hold the human messiness—venting, processing, the knots we all work through.
When that ratio flips, your creative energy starts leaking. Before long, your visibility suffers—not because you’re inconsistent, but because you’re emotionally overdrawn.
Your story matters. Your work matters. And the relationships closest to you either support that truth… or slowly pull you out of alignment with it.
Your Next Step
If your creative capacity feels compromised, you don’t need to overhaul your entire network overnight.
Start small:
Identify one “penny” relationship where you need to set a boundary this week.
Identify one “quarter” relationship that deserves deeper investment and attention.
And ask yourself:
What is one relationship value I refuse to compromise on right now?
Your answer will tell you exactly where your energy needs to go next.
