The Unseen Architecture of Visibility: Why Your Relationships Need a Business Audit
As a therapist and content creator, I’m obsessed with visibility. But true, sustainable visibility isn't just about showing up; it’s about maintaining the creative space that allows you to show up authentically, consistently, and powerfully. And guess what? That space is built on the strength (or weakness) of your relationships. I used to think my professional growth was purely about my work ethic and credentials. But if you’re sitting on thousands of hours of B-roll content, chasing trends, or feeling drained before you even hit "record," the problem might not be your strategy. It might be your network.
It’s time to perform a Relationship Audit. I first learned about a relationship audit from Aliza Kelly’s book, This is Your Destiny: Using Astrology To Manifest Your Best Life. When I first came across this concept in the book, I kind of overlooked it because in my mind an audit implies going through my relationships with a fine tooth comb and figuring out what areas I need to invest more time in and what areas I need to reevalute the energy I am investing. and that felt odd to me. As I have become more committed to my professional goals, I recognize my network is a reflection of my ceiling of growth. If I am surrounding myself with people who allow limiting beliefs to drive their decision making, I am opening up space for my own decision making to be influenced. Here are a few I like to think about the value in doing a relationship audit:
1. Your Creativity is a Sourdough Starter
Think of your creativity, your business vision, or your capacity to show up authentically online as a high-maintenance sourdough starter. It’s alive, it’s precious, and it requires quality care.
If you’re careless with the baking process—if you’re putting in rotten eggs or expired flour—your final product is going to fail. In relationship terms, those rotten ingredients are people who:
Consistently dim your energy.
Are sitting with insecurity and can't meet your vision.
Require constant effort but offer no reciprocal support.
All of your relationships should offer you the space and capacity to grow. If they don't, you're compromising your creative field.
2. The Relationship Audit: Questions to Ask
An audit isn’t harsh; it’s a necessary act of protection for your business and your peace. When assessing the relationships that take up space in your heart and mind, ask yourself:
Is there a true give and take? Is there reciprocity?
Do I feel energized or drained when I spend time with this person?
Do they encourage me to think beyond my limiting beliefs?
Can they meet me when I have a big vision? (And if not, am I setting a boundary around what I share with them?)
You don’t have to write anyone off, but you might have to conserve your energy on what you would use to potentially force that relationship to look a certain way. Redirect that energy to people who can truly meet you where you are.
3. Quality Over Quantity: Four Quarters vs. A Hundred Pennies
As someone who has struggled with abandonment and craving connection, I had to learn this hard truth: Not everyone is your friend, and not everyone needs to be your friend.
I love a good analogy, so here it is: I would rather have four quarters over a hundred pennies.
A hundred pennies get lost easily, are hard to keep track of, and have a lack of substance when you're carrying them. They are low-depth, high-frequency relationships that feel heavy.
Four quarters are substantial, easy to manage, and clearly valuable. They represent high-depth, intentional relationships where the trust, respect, and reciprocity are already built.
When you invest your time and energy into those "quarter" relationships, they become extensions of your life. Showing up for them when they need you isn't an inconvenience—it's an intentional choice rooted in mutual connection and safety.
4. The 70/30 Rule for Creative Focus
For those high-quality relationships, protect the quality of the content you share within them. One of my favorite content creators, Grace McCarrick, talks about the 70/30 rule:
70% of your conversations should be energizing, growth-oriented, and focused on up-leveling.
Only 30% should be dedicated to drama, messiness, or anything that takes your creative energy and dims it.
Your voice matters. Your story could be exactly what someone needs to hear. Don't let low-quality connections take your vision and presence away from what you're meant to be doing.
Nothing beats having the people around you that can support you in getting where you want to go.
What's Your Next Step?
If you feel your creative space is being compromised, start small. Identify one "penny" relationship you need to set a boundary with this week, and one "quarter" relationship you need to intentionally invest in.
What’s one quality ingredient (relationship value) you refuse to compromise on in your life right now? Share your thoughts below.
