Choosing Self-trust even when it means disappointing others

In our society, change is often seen as being flaky, indecisive, or immature. We praise individuals who appear to have it all together- the job, the relationship, the status. In turn, we beat ourselves up for not being at a place in our lives that we expect ourselves to be in. We perceive ourselves as failures or that we are not working hard enough when one of the key ingredients to building self-trust is knowing when it is time to make a change. On a latest episode of “The Visibility Standard”, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Meg Trucano, a coach that specializes in supporting women navigate change, to discuss the importance of making choices that are in alignment even when it does not make sense to anyone else.

Over time, I have gotten pretty good at change. I have left jobs (one when I was in the midst of a promotion), ended relationships, changed the kind of clothes I wear, allowed myself the space to expand my idea of success. Growing up, change was not an idea that was taught to me as something I should do often. The concept of certainty was instilled to me very early-hell, I knew I was going to be a therapist my junior year of high school and look at me now. Through time and experience, I have learned that allowing myself to change (my mind, my clothes, my beliefs) is one of the best things I can give myself in building self-trust. Believing in myself however has only been one part of the processing. Sitting with the disappointment or disapproval of others has been a completely different journey.

Part of building self-trust is believing in yourself even when there are people around you who completely disagree with your path-friends, family, your partner- your path is your path. Most people give advice based on their perspective & how they would navigate a situation which also includes their insecurities and limiting beliefs that they view themselves and/or the world from. Because of this, it is insanely important that you build discernment about the people you take advice from. Building self-trust does not mean you never take advice from another person, it just means you are more thoughtful about who you allow in to the inner workings of your mind. Self-trust is the vessel that will allow you to move around the world more confident in your choices even when the only person it makes sense to is you.